is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
