So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
