Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
