Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
