But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
