apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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