something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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