She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
