Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize