He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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