Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
