just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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