So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
