A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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