Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
