The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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