i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize