spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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