One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
