I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I met the friendliest cop last night
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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