She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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