I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
