If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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