do herpes really smell.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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