you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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