its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
