Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
