hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
