if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize