i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize