Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
