so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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