I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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