My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
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I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
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And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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