am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
