Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
