He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
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I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
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I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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