I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
