This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
