"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
