how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
