A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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