whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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