Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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