Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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