Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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