Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
