So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
