dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
