A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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