So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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