How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
