THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
