I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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