So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
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oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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