Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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