Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
