the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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