I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
