Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize