Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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