the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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