so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
